The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-defence

Suzette Haden Elgin


In Circulation

Learn how to detect the subtle "put-downs", insults and other verbal blows that almost everyone uses—parents and children, husbands and wives, teachers and students, and friends and lovers.

Most of us are under verbal attack everyday and often don't even realize it. In The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense you'll learn the skills you need to respond to all types of verbal attack. Specific strategies fro your defense include:

* Twelve rules of clear, effective interaction
* Recognition of five verbal modes--the Placator, Blamer, Distractor, Computer, and Leveler
* Tone of voice--make yours bolder and more assertive
* Alternative scripts--better approaches to common confrontation
* Body language--how it supports what you say
* and in special chapters directed to both men and women, the author explains how women have long been the verbal victims of men and what both sexes can do to break this destructive pattern

With numerous examples of verbal confrontations and a journal to help you keep track of your progress, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense will give you the perception you need to deal confidently in any interaction.

What will you learn from this book

  1. Verbal Self-Defense Techniques: Elgin introduces a variety of techniques to help individuals defend themselves against verbal attacks, including assertiveness, deflection, and verbal judo.

  2. Understanding Communication Dynamics: The book emphasizes the importance of understanding communication dynamics, including power dynamics, tone, body language, and context, in effectively managing verbal interactions.

  3. Recognizing Verbal Abuse: Elgin provides insights into recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, teaching readers to identify manipulative language patterns and assert their boundaries assertively.

  4. Using "I" Statements: The book encourages the use of "I" statements to express thoughts and feelings assertively without placing blame or provoking defensiveness in the other person.

  5. Active Listening: Elgin emphasizes the importance of active listening in effective communication, teaching readers to listen attentively, validate others' feelings, and respond empathetically.

  6. Assertiveness Training: The book offers assertiveness training exercises and role-playing scenarios to help readers practice assertive communication techniques and build confidence in handling difficult conversations.

  7. Setting Boundaries: Elgin discusses the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and provides strategies for assertively communicating and enforcing boundaries with others.

  8. Avoiding Trigger Words: The book advises readers to avoid using trigger words or phrases that can escalate conflicts and instead choose neutral language to de-escalate tense situations.

  9. Maintaining Emotional Control: Elgin emphasizes the importance of maintaining emotional control during verbal confrontations, teaching readers techniques such as deep breathing and positive self-talk to stay calm and composed.

  10. Resolving Conflict Constructively: Finally, the book teaches readers how to resolve conflicts constructively by focusing on finding mutually beneficial solutions, maintaining respect for others, and fostering open communication.

Language English
ISBN-10 0880290307
ISBN-13 9780880290302
No of pages 310
Font Size Medium
Book Publisher Barnes & Nobles
Published Date 28 May 1992

About Author

Author : Suzette Haden Elgin

1 Books

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